these days I don't get many chances to take photos, since I spend most of my time sitting in front of the computer. But there is the webcam, so I can take photos – due to the limited camera-angle, the images are not about the usual objects such as nature, city, shopwindows and the construction site across the street but about me, sitting or standing in front of the computer.
And that's when I see the furrow between my eyebrows which sits at exactly the same place like my mothers furrow: left from the bridge of my nose. Everyone keeps saying "Paula! Excuse me!! This furrow is nothing, it's hardly noticeable". But it is there.
When I read, the furrow deepens. When I think (what I do a lot), it deepens even more. And when I watch a disturbing scene in a movie, it deepens even more. That's when Mr Paula nudges me and warns me not to create the furrow. Don't get him wrong: I asked him to tell me when he notices me furrowing, because I try to avoid using those muscles that produce it.
So, here I am, with some alternatives at hand:
One would be to stop thinking, reading and talking. And no more disturbing movies.
Or – The best alternative to Botox: I could expand my skin with my fingers, gently, so I won't create other, new furrows with my fingers.
And then there is Botox. I admit, the sensation of a 100% relaxed muscle is something I wish to experience once in my life. I once experienced a facial massage where the woman massaged my forehead in a way that totally relaxed all muscles. Heavenly!
The effect lasts zero seconds after the treatment. But it feels nice to relax the muscle from the eyebrow.
Or I could accept, that I am my mother's daughter and that I inherited this furrow left of the bridge of the nose. As you can tell, I am not there, not yet. No acceptance so far.
I feel the tension of my muscles working inwards – when my muscles are tight, so are my emotions. It also works the other way round: The tension from the inside also shows on the outside (=furrows). How I wish to relax! Especially this one little forrow above my nose. Compared to other people, my muscle tension is always high. I don't mind the furrows above my eyebrows, because they are "friendly" furrows. It's this nasty, little, mean furrow ... (I guess while thinking about it, it already grows!)
Botox is affordable, so to say not the Kelly bag among purses. And it is not like it would be forever - not like a tatoo. Is it addictive? I don't think so. I once tried botox for my armpits, because the sweat stains annoyed me (hot summer+bicycle ride = no good!). I did it once and that was it. The effect lasted only for 2.5 months. So I thought it was not worth it.
But does it take courage to try it in the face? Would the 3-4 months feel like an eternity (because that's how long the Botox lasts) if the result looks awful? Must stop thinking about this. Now! I already feel my furrow deepening.
What if I just need better glasses?