Monday, 9 April 2012

Two Circles

Over the last weeks I've noticed something about the Blogsphere. The difference between German and English blogs (here I am referring to the language, not the nations):

While my time in the English-writing blogsphere is full of pleasures - vacations, DIY-projects, creative hobbies and guidelines to good manners, the German writing blogsphere seems to be is full of self-doubts and secrets, leading to password-protected postings and sometimes even abandoned blogs, where the bloggers felt the need to start a new blog, after having posted too many intimate details about their private life (mostly about cheating on husbands/wives).

? ? ?

To me the blogsphere works in circles - I follow a blog, read his / her comments, find other bloggers who share similar interests. Blogs seem to attract people who think alike.

How did I end up in the German-writing Blogsphere? A follower opened the gate to the German speaking blogsphere. I visited her blog, checked out her list of followers and one lead to another. Reading those blogs (written by bloggers from Switzerland, Austria and Germany) exhausts me, makes me feel worn out. Sick. Those German-written blogs seem like therapies without therapists, but many other sick people likewise. Women who want to leave their husbands, Husbands who cheat on their wives. In the German writing Blogsphere you will also find way more men compared to the English-writing blogsphere. All search anonymity.

I have the strong suspicion that many of those who blog about their intimate secrets carry the strong desire to get caught by their betrayed partner, so the partner would draw the line those people are not able to draw. This seems to be so unfair.
Meanwhile everbody out there can enter their lives and get to know things you rather don't know. Writing at password-protected laptops while their partners are out of the house. Until they reach the point where they start to protect their postings with passwords. Or switch to a new blog, try to escape from their old blog, because they realise it contains a lot that should have remained unsaid. Forgetting, that the blogroll of their followers still provides the link to the abandoned blog ...

What uncomforts me the most is how those bloggers share their worries with foreigners instead of talking to the people they spend their lives with. Still I choose to spend part of my free time and peep into those blogs on a regular basis. And it leaves me with a sour taste. 

I know those blogs represent only a small part of the German-written-Blogsphere but still, it seems overwhelming and huge.

Is this really a German-only issue, spreading out intimate issues and problems in marriage with the world?

All the English-written blogs I know seem to be so healthy and comforting. Even when they deal with problems ... many things are left unsaid, for the better. It seems I was lucky to choose English as the language for this blog, attracting the right kind of people.
I feel so glad that you are here, so I can return to you after an exhausting session of reading German-written blogs. You are the antidote to all the betrayal I find in those German-written blogs. Maybe it's a kind of false politeness, where many things remain unwritten. I guess those circles of blogs also exist in the English-written Blogsphere, but not in the circle I am in with.

This posting might motivate some of my dear German-writing followers to quit following my blog. I did not want to offend you. I like what YOU have to say. But when I spend too much time in your Blogsphere, reading what your followers have to say, it makes me feel confused, sometimes even sick.

I had these thoughts on my mind far too long, to keep them unwritten any longer.

xo Paula


  1. How interesting, Paula. You might consider expanding this topic into an article. A social study about the differences between English- speaking and German- speaking blogs.

    Thank you for telling us all about this - of course, I don't speak or read any German beyond what I learned in 6th grade. So I wouldn't likely visit a German- speaking blog- but I still find it so interesting that they differ from us so much.

    have a wonderful Monday....

  2. By definition a blog is a journal, an on-line journal where we record our thoughts, what is going on in our lives, personal stuff basically. With one big exception, it's meant to be read by other people. Bloggers can quickly become swayed by the notion that these are strangers thus turning their blogs into a sort of confessional. But on-line anonymity is a myth! And it's also very rude and selfish to use a blog to filter out negative emotion, transferring these feelings onto the readers and hoping they'll fix the problems.
    As always: great post, leaves me with a lot of stuff to think about. Happy Easter!

  3. Adrienna, first I planned on posting some screenshots, the names of the blogs are already very ... different from "ours". Then I decided to cover the topic in a more discret way. :-) I learned my lession from FF, Lisa, you and many more bloggers.
    I might point out again: it is my personal experience and there must be blogs like "ours". Only I did not find them yet.

    coffeeaddict, thank you for your nice words. We often look for approval, when posting outfits, recipes etc. That's fun. But posting about whether or not to leave the partner after 20 years of marriage?
    We both chose the English-Blogsphere, I am very glad we "met" here.
    What helped me not to fall into the trap of the "so-called anonymity": I told plenty of my co-workers over the past two years about my blog. Like that I only blog what I think is ok for them to know about my life. Because they might find out anyhow, some day, about this blog. (I highly doubt they are interested in my stuff at all) ;-)

  4. Noooooo, it's not only the Germans who blog so freely! You're just sheltered from the US trainwreck ones. It doesn't sound like you want to add those to your life, but if you decide you need some comparisons for your study email me, ha.

    [German heritage, though much diluted, here. My blog is one where I force myself to escape ruminating on non-productive thoughts. It's a lot more cheerful than I am!]

  5. Wow. This is fascinating.

  6. Vix, hmmm. Let me sleep over it another night, ok? Pandora's box and so ... The good thing about "circles": they are complete. I am not sure if I want to open my English circle. Though you know Geminis well enough to know they are curious like no one else!

    Lisa, I had your blog on my mind, too, when I was referring to the comforting blogs. :-*